Ugh. Damn alarm clock. Snooze button. 5 more minutes. What, five minutes is up? Kidneys aching. Bladder wanting to burst. I wanna stay in R.E.M. Get up. No, that ain’t her. That’s just your pillow.
In the name of the Father, Son, Spirit. Got a long day Lord. No fast-forward function, I see?
Pissssssss. Kiss mom on the cheek. Turn on CNN. 30 Shiites bombed to Kingdom Come. Till next time, Raheem. Mugabe wins via landslide (unopposed)! Man arrested for attempting to jump off Empire State. And countersues? North Korea shuts down nuclear plants. Obviously it’s fo sho. Oil price breaks new records. Nah, got the credit card anyway. Angelina has twins. Lucky bastards. David Archuleta gay buzz. He had it coming. Sharapova out of Wimbledon? Aww, no more hot chick. Federer wins. Same old, same old.
Ring. Ring. Hi sir. Yes sir. I know, they’re idiots, sir. I know you’re having trouble with the students sir. What sir, they’re not allowed to even answer the phone? Cause if they do they could lose the account? They’re not as smart as you hoped them to be. Yep I’ve started lecturing sir. Sir yesssir. Opo ser. Bye sir. What a perfect being you are, sir.
Shit. Eggs are out. Wheat bread’s gone. Ate the last piece last night. No coffee, thanks. No cold water too? I’ll just grab a Sausage Mcmuffin. Screw the diet. I’ll restart next week. I know mom, I just don’t have time to prepare the salad. And the fruit’s been there for two weeks. Well why aren’t you eating it?
Whoosh. Water’s cold. Shriek! Roach running through my legs. Shake shake, splash, take that you lousy bastard. Bath sponge’s almost ruined. Shampoo? Nah, got no hair anyway. No toothpaste, gum will do. Lather the cream. Scrub the skin. Cut the nails. Shave the stubble. Damn I need a goatee. Trim the nose hair. Everything complete? Mom! Can you pass the towel?
Gotta go mom. What’s that? Well, hurry up! Yeah, I can drop you off. No, I’ve got a meeting later. And I’m running later. And I’m meeting up with friends. I can’t be late. You gotta be there or I’ll leave at once. Yeah, you’re paying for gas and the Mcmuffin.
iPod plugged-in. Tony Robbins on the playlist. Crazy, frenetic guy. Your life can change. Success is all about using your Personal Power. Someday is NOW. COMMIT and FOLLOW THROUGH. More pleasure, less pressure. Take action. Live with passion. No, I haven’t washed the clothes yet. No, I’m getting paid next week. No, haven’t read the books, had too much on my mind. What, low batt? Yeah, I know mom, everybody makes mistakes. So what if I forgot to charge last night? Well, you raised yours first! Can I borrow your iPod?
Ah, thank God she’s gone. Beep beep. Car accident on the road, morons arguing over who’s insurance policy gets charged. Oof. Move your ass, slowpoke, as if you haven’t seen these things before. Policeman three blocks away. Manila’s Finest. Big tummy, menacing grin, outstretched hands. Putrid sweat. Forgot my license at home! Slip through him like a stealth bomber evading the Taliban radar.
Forty minutes, three hash browns, ten overpriced liters of gas and several curses later. The Walled City in my sights. Students scampering around. Four colleges in the vicinity. Four different lifestyles. Scholar. Brat. Average. Nobody. Heels clacking, cellphones beeping, endless mouths blending in one perfect chorus – noise. Roasted garlic in the air, complete with essence of canal and smoke-spewing FX taxi. Park my car. Chip in thirty bucks.
Roll call. Banana Rep polo crisp? Check. Belt and shoes match? Check. Lint removed from my Dockers? Boss fragrance? Check, check. Fly zipped up? Hard-on contained? Sweat wiped off the forehead? Check, check, check. Silver Mac, Cyber-shot phone, keys to the Civic, books, handouts, class list, IDs seatplan, ALL check. Lecture for today?
Oh, well, I’ve got fifteen minutes.
2 Comments
July 12, 2008 at 2:05 am
it’s amazing all the things that could happen the moment you hit the snooze button OFF.
July 14, 2008 at 12:39 am
it can either drive you to do so many things or nail you down cause you don’t wanna do all of them.